Yesterday I Went To Hell

Author: Mama's boy

Yesterday I went to hell
I’ve always been into spelunking, it gives me that thrill and a rush of adrenaline, I would say it’s better than sex but you don’t walk out of the motel room covered in mud and bat shit (depending on what you’re into). Yesterday I was exploring this cave, I spent 5 hours in there with no sign of a dead end which should’ve been the case by now, I also started to hear an intensifying ringing in my ears and it was beginning to get hot all around me. I ended up in a cavern which looked generally unexploded before except for what I can only describe as a receptionist desk in the middle. I walked up to it, thinking it might’ve been just a strange rock formation but nope, it was definitely a desk you’d see in a divorce lawyer’s office with a computer, office chair, water cooler, the whole deal. Then out of nowhere a door appeared behind the desk, a girl in a dark pencil skirt and white blouse walked out of it, after which the door disappeared as quickly as it appeared. She swiftly offered me her apologies, saying they haven’t finished patching this entrance yet, when I asked her what this place was she responded ever so casually that it was hell. It didn’t come as a surprise to me for some reason, it must’ve had to do with the ringing I had heard previously now turning into agonizing screams and the fact that it was so hot i couldn’t stop sweating. The woman was anxiously trying to find something in her clipboard, when she finally seemed to find it she once again apologized to me and recited a phrase in what I think was latin or maybe italian. Before I could decide which one it was I was already back at the entrance to the cave, well at least the entrance that should’ve been there, it was now patched up with rocks. I walked back to the parking lot where I had parked my car and saw a parking violation behind the windscreen wipers, my car had stayed in the parking long for 15 minutes too long.
Yesterday I went to hell, i also got a parking ticket.