Sex With Cole

Author: C-oomer

So I tried sex with Cole last night. Let me just say, it was the worse experience of my life. Every single time we get to the good part—like when his hands are all over me and I’m finally feeling something—he starts talking about getting shot.

“Remember that time I got grazed by shrapnel?” he says, mid-lick. “It was so intense, like my whole body was screaming.” I’m trying to enjoy the moment, but his nonstop monologue about bullets and blood loss is making me want to flee. It’s not just the subject matter; it’s the enthusiasm. He’ll tell you about the time he got shot in the shoulder while riding a motorcycle, then switch to discussing the tactical advantages of a .45 caliber round during a passionate kiss.

By the end, I was more focused on whether I’d survive the encounter than actually enjoying it.