Santa Claus x Me Ch 4

Author: chad thundercock

Chapter 4- A Wreath Of Love
I saw Santa in Spencers today, while I was shopping for a new vibrator. It was the day after our first date! I was a little reticent about seeing him as the date was, well, was quite strange. I so badly wanted to feel his lips against mine again. His lips were like a dried, withered desert. I was ready to go home and soak my body in a bath of warm, toasty water until someone grabbed me by the hips. It was Santa! I was packing my backpack, no one was there other than him and me. He grabbed me by my soft, sleek hair and our lips conjoined. It seems all we ever do is kiss but I can’t resist the urge. Things started getting a bit sultry and before we knew it, we were only in our undergarments. However, Santa seemed to be pensive as if he was planning to make a move of some sort. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees. His mouth opened, no words came out.
“Will……” He forgetfully prod the words out.
He said my name.. and the question was asked.
“Will you marry me? Since the day I first met you, I have fallen in love with you. Your existence is so piquant to me. Your eyes, they’re so magnificent and alluring. You’re everything I have ever wanted. Please, I ask you to consider this question.” He spoke with voice cracks interrupting every so often.

I was… shocked. I had no words for what I had just heard. I had no words to answer but my heart did. I knew he was the man of my dreams, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. With only little to no thought, I answered.

“Yes” I was exhilarated. Tears filled my eyes, I was so happy.

this version is edited, to fit the sites rules and also i guess the current timeline of my life since i actually wrote this masterpiece over 6 years ago

🩸 🩸 🩸 🩸 🩸
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115 Comments
singlewhitefemale
singlewhitefemale
July 27, 2026 6:49 pm

OMH is pop-u-lar you know that it’s true-ooh
Ha – ha – ha – ha – ha-ha-ha-ha- – ha – ha
You know I’m right – Don’t you try to start a fight
Ha – ha – ha – ha – ha-ha-ha-ha- – ha – ha

chad thundercock
chad thundercock
July 27, 2026 6:19 pm

OMH is pop-u-lar Everyone talks a -bout him
Ha – ha – ha – ha – ha-ha-ha-ha- – ha – ha

Ketchup on Waffles
Ketchup on Waffles
July 27, 2026 5:45 pm

Lousy movie, laughable acting, amateur production.

Wow
Wow
July 27, 2026 7:00 am

6 votes – 3 stars – 103 comments – HA HA Meow you fucking jerkoff.

Admin
Admin
Admin
July 27, 2026 3:17 am

none

Colthemolehole
Colthemolehole
July 27, 2026 2:41 am

“Ketchup on Waffles 2024” The plot may be bare bones but this film doesn’t really need to be anything more than what it is.
Ketchup on Waffles is a chaotic, relentless film. That acting is what truly stands out to me. The lead performance is so evil, commanding, and wildly unpredictable. To me, that is the most terrifying type of villain. The way the film is shot is so anxiety-inducing and is constantly moving. This goes well with the chaotic lead performance and the overall nature of the film. I do wish there was more film here. Regardless, great film. 10/10

Ketch
Ketch
July 27, 2026 2:20 am

Ketchup On Waffles, 2024. I’d had this movie on my watchlist for so long and now that I’ve finally watched it… luckily it didn’t disappoint me. The debut feature of John Theissen Jr. Is a perfect mix of “August Underground,” “Hate Crime,” “Funny Games,” and a hint of “A Clockwork Orange” for its rawness, home-invasion chaos, and performative violence. It’s not usual for me to use so many references, but despite having seen so many movies in one, the director does an amazing job of not presenting them as simple copies or recreations. “Ketchup on Waffles” has its own identity. And if you think pineapples on pizza is a wild combination, ketchup on waffles sounds even more disgusting. But food tastes aside, and with its ironic and catchy title, “Ketchup on Waffles” is not really a movie about food, even if it is mostly located inside an American diner. It follows three masked psychotic guys terrorising customers late on a Friday… just for fun. A place of comfort where everyday normality feels familiar, until it slowly becomes a space of intrusive chaos and senseless violence, making the audience feel like there is no real safe place. Safe spaces turn into places where anything can happen. Most of the violent acts are shot off-screen. We don’t really see much, but we definitely feel the tension and brutality, mixed with an effective dark humour that keeps you hooked from beginning to end. Despite the low budget, the movie doesn’t suffer from it,… Read more »

EUM Enjoyer
EUM Enjoyer
July 27, 2026 2:02 am

I saw Ketchup on Waffles too. Sorry Meow but that movie really sucks ass. A wise sage is totally right. It’s pure fucking garbage.

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 27, 2026 1:53 am

Ketchup on waffles is a fucking joke. It’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Amateur production, laughable acting, idiotic script and a lousy musical score. Rank amateur garbage. 0.025 stars.

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 27, 2026 1:46 am

Hello everyone, I’m a stupid & annoying loser. I love sniffing ass. Does anyone want to sniff mine? I make sure I do lots of squats for it to be extra tight. I can also be a really great cuck.

user
user
July 27, 2026 12:34 am

your story chad thundercock is great btw ignore the drama and scitzoposting!

Meow
Meow
July 27, 2026 12:04 am

Hey sage – fuck you

Meow
Meow
July 26, 2026 11:41 pm

Ketchup on Waffles has a really good production team – but the clothing designer was specifically clearly the best!

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 26, 2026 11:35 pm

I really love the movie “Ketchup on Waffles 2024”. The movie is so disturbing, but good. Everything about it is just… wow. Like, wow.

But most importantly? The movie had one REALLY good helper that helped make the movie. One of the persons who helped the production of the movie really fuckin’ nailed it.

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 26, 2026 11:27 pm

Fun fact about me: I’m a stupid and idiotic pussy faggot.

Meow
Meow
July 26, 2026 11:26 pm

Ketchup on waffles – an awesome and well made movie by amazing people

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 26, 2026 11:26 pm

Little asshole Meow is triggered big time. Hey Meow – Can you define the words “little asshole?”

Jenny
Jenny
July 26, 2026 10:30 pm

Really wish I could see “Ketchup On Waffles 2024” for free online. Sigh, if only someone could add it here.

Meow
Meow
July 26, 2026 10:20 pm

Fay 1 of asking to Admin add “Ketchup On Waffles 2024” it’s an awsorm movie hahaha I just watched it! Add it ADMIN YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!

AIGXE
AIGXE
July 26, 2026 10:18 pm

props to admin for triggering this retard Meow just like everybody does

Meow
Meow
July 26, 2026 7:32 pm

Notice how Admin started using “–” in his comments only after he noticed I use it? Hmmmm

A d d m i nn
A d d m i nn
July 26, 2026 6:43 pm

Hey OP – I’m a hugeeeeeeee faggot pussy idiot loser noob hahahahhahahahahahaha

Admin
Admin
Admin
July 26, 2026 5:44 pm

OP, sorry to fuck up your post but since everyone’s talking about unrelated bullshit – last few weeks have been excessively weird. Apart from feeling extremely demotivated – the World Cup was one thing I felt like like looking forward to – there’s been a whole load of strange shit happening. And this weekend’s been the worst. The internet is extremely dodgy and I can’t upload a single movie to the servers. It wasn’t many, just a couple, but the connection just breaks midway. I tried mobile data and anytime I try a video or even zip file, it simply stops. I went outside and even that got fucked up even when I experimented with non-EUM stuff. I actually for a bit thought I was losing my mind and imagining the whole shit. Even considered the possibility that I was a playable character in a kind of simulation where I could affect things and my demotivational phase was puncturing my simulated reality.

Homosexual
Homosexual
July 26, 2026 5:01 pm

is meow homophobic? im a male homosexual not offended by the word faggot at all in fact i love calling myself a fag and my friends i wonder if she truly dislikes the gays? i personally love my homo men, lesbians and bisexuals but i am highly transphobic and it should just us 3. thoughts queen of eum? any new laws you would like to introduce to our community?

EUM Enjoyer
EUM Enjoyer
July 26, 2026 4:41 pm

what do you put in this vase? excuse me whats wrong with your face? what does stuff actually smell like? how long you gonna feel like that for!

Meow
Meow
July 26, 2026 4:11 pm

There’s a certain person on here that gets VERY triggered by me – hey, maybe it’s Admin… probably not though. They seem super annoyed just by my aura and it’s hilarious.

If your wondering of I’m talking about you – I probably am, hahah, you fucking jerkoff

DOOMSDAY WARNING
DOOMSDAY WARNING
July 26, 2026 3:39 pm

Listen up you stupid little assholes and listen very, very carefully because I’m only going to say this once. The doomsday clock is ticking once again. We’re looking at a major shutdown that could last many months. You fucking jerkoffs better say so long to your little asshole friends before it’s too late. Don’t cry too hard about it you fucking douche bags. If you feel that I’m talking directly to you please leave an angry comment so I can laugh right in your fucking stupid face. HA HA you fucking jerkoffs. Buh-bye.

she's right
she's right
July 26, 2026 3:38 pm

listen to meow and singlewhitefemale – the government is really fucked and we need to do something

Moew
Moew
July 26, 2026 1:57 pm

LISTEN TO ME AND SINGELWHITEFEMALE SOMETHING VERY BAD IS DEFINITELY GONNA HAPPEN I THINK IF I GO SOMEWHERE THE CIA WILL SHOOT ME OR GET ME STABBED OR SOMETHING DUDE WE ALL GOTTA DO SOMETHING THE GOVERNMENT IS FUCKED.

I FOUNF OUT TOK MUCH ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT AND BEYOND AND NOW IM FUCKED. FUCKFUCKFUCK THEY FINNA PUT ME IN ONE OF THEIR EXPERIMENTS!!!!!!!!

Lina snow
Lina snow
July 26, 2026 1:55 pm

Meow gets talked about on EUM everyday. She’s the most popular subject on EUM because of her great movie reviews and lists. Jealous little assholes like Cole try to roast her but it backfires every time and just makes Cole look even more like a jealous little raging fucking faggot. You know it – I know it.

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 26, 2026 1:54 pm

If you mention Meow in the title of your post you would have got a shit load of people wanting to read it.

Meow
Meow
July 26, 2026 1:41 pm

ITS SHE/HER ITS SHE/HER CALL ME BY MY PROPER PRONOUNS CALL ME BY MY PROPER PRONOUNS ITS SHE/HER ITS SHE/HER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS SHE/HER THIS IS A HATE CRIME IT’S SHE/HER ITS SHE/HER

Momo
Momo
July 26, 2026 7:38 am

what a happy ending !!

EUM Enjoyer
EUM Enjoyer
July 26, 2026 6:37 am

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

A wise sage
A wise sage
July 26, 2026 6:37 am

If you mention OMH in the title of your post you would have got a shit load of people wanting to read it.