Author: hikikomoricide
I SH cuz I miss my ex boyfriend even though I’m the reason the relationship ended. I’m not looking for petty sympathy though, I was a piece of shit to him and he was still willing to take me back even after I made him relapse, and I whined when he finally wouldn’t take me back like he hadn’t already given me lots of chances to fix my wrongs.
I still miss him lots but I’d never get back with him because he’s much better off without me, he also seems very happy with his new girlfriend. I get a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I see him in person because I’m worried if he sees me its gonna ruin his day.
I would SH before this and even during the relationship but when it really ended in May 2025 I was taken to get stitches (before the most I could do was epidermis) to be fair I don’t think I needed them. It would’ve healed fine and I was already taking as good of care of the wounds as I could.
I have BPD pretty badly and every relationship I’ve been in even friends has been me becoming a psychotic asshole towards them. I tend not to really make friends or think about the idea of relationships anymore but the emptiness and loneliness is hard to ignore when you have emotional regulation issues. Developed a drinking problem and was a massive self harmer until my skin started to look like a reptile so had to stop and somewhat help myself. Another good reason to stop least you have a chance not to disgust or scare away a potential partner away. Hopefully your skin still looks fine and you’re cutting safely. Right now going through my own complexes with a man which is taking up all my emotional energy which yeah explained in my own post. My ex was an abusive cunt physically and emotionally and in a way deserved what shit I did to them but same time they was a really troubled person but also the fucker doesn’t even bother to remember the 5 years we had together now they got a new partner it makes my blood boil. Thought of my ex and other friends who left make me want to destroy every part of my skin with burns and cuts or just go down a dangerous self destructive spree of drinking and shouting at everything like a crazy person. Probably also a sad weird way to cry for help or take out my anger on the world when… Read more »
May is when my birthday occurs. When I used to cut I got to the white part. Man I used to be an edgy little faggot
*yawn*