Pregabalin

Author: Meow

When I went to sleep I wasn’t expecting to be awoken by a… heart attack, I think. It’s so dark. It feels like my chest is descending into my bed. Into the floor. I’m gonna DIE. I should yell, please let me yell. I can’t. My voice isn’t working. I can barely move. Just barely. So slowly. So goddamn slowly. I feel like a snail. If even that. No, my movements feel even slower than a snails. I really hope I’m not dying. I don’t know what’s happening. Is that someone there – what the fuck? There’s a black figure. I don’t think they even have a face. They’re just a body. A silhouette. But something feels so, so wrong. I’m not having a heart attack or a stroke. But what the fuck is that figure? Now they’re walking closer. I want to move so badly. But, my body is paralysed. It’s just standing over me, staring at me. Does it want something? What even is it? What if it’s a demon, and this is hell? I don’t know what’s happening feelings I’m experiencing right now. Everything feels so off. It’s been two weeks since then. I feel like I’m gonna meet that ‘thing’ again. It’s a gut feeling. But I can’t skip out on my sleep, can I? Close your eyes, dear… close them… that’s it! Now you’re… awake again! But you can’t move. Just like before. Well, try not to panic too much, honey, it’s not dangerous, right? Or maybe it’s just observing you before it does kill you. Where is it, though? I can’t see it. I can’t move, it’s dark-ish, but it feels different to before. I’m not as anxious or scared now. But, why? I… I wanted to see it again! It was cute. Something about it feels comforting. Ohhh, I see it now! It’s… hiding? It’s all the way over there. No, no, no… I want to see it close up. I miss its warmth. I can feel myself getting sleepy again. I want to stay here longer with it – and I’ve already gone back to sleep. Let’s try again in a few weeks, I guess. I’m here again, same bed, same lighting, lying on my back. Anddd… I’m here again! I can’t move, but oh gosh, I don’t feel good. It feels hard to breathe and I think I’m sinking. But the figure is on top of me. I can’t even feel it on top of me. It’s just staring at me, like always. I don’t think it wants to harm me. I’ll call it “Pregabalin”, what an adorable name for it. Ah, I’m falling asleep yet again. Oh well. It’s morning now, sigh. I want to see Pregabalin! I miss it. Wait… isn’t that a drug name? I’ll search it up.

“Pregabalin is a prescription medication primarily used to treat nerve pain caused by conditions like diabetes, shingles, or spinal cord injuries, as well as fibromyalgia. It is also prescribed to control partial-onset seizures in people with epilepsy and to manage generalized anxiety disorder by calming overactive chemical signals in the brain. While taking this medication, you may experience common side effects such as drowsiness, dizziness, headaches, dry mouth, blurred vision, or swelling in your hands and feet. Because it can significantly affect your concentration and reaction times, you should avoid driving or operating machinery until you know how it impacts you. Most importantly, you must never stop taking pregabalin suddenly, as doing so can trigger serious withdrawal symptoms or a recurrence of seizures; any changes to your dose should be managed gradually under a doctor’s direct supervision.”

Ahhh… why on earth did that come up as a name in my mind? Hm… what if it’s trying to tell me something? I only go the pharmacist for melatonin, but what if… NOPE! Just kidding. Ugh, I need a coffee. I shout, “Favela, get me a coffee!” And Favela replies, “GET ONE YOURSELF YOU FUCKING FATASS,” ugh, I fucking miss Messiah, UGHHHHHH! Favela is the biggest cunt ever. I wish I could just eat them. That’s all they seem to be good for, honestly. But they’re such a paranoid asshole that they’d probably notice me trying anything from a freaking mile away. SMH. Whatever! As if Favela is much of anything… fucking spills shit everywhere and whines about everything. I mean, EVERY LITTLE THING! I wish my dear Pregabalin would just kill Favela and serve them to me on a plate. Actually, no. I’d rather do it myself. Ugh, nevermind. Fuck that coffee. Dumbass probably spit in it out of spite anyways. I don’t want to drink even a tiny amount of that disease infested spit. And their spit is bright red… so weird. Favela is sooooo fucking annoying and gross. I bet they’re jacking off to… ugh, nevermind, forget it. “FAVELA, FUCK YOU, YOU DUMB CUNT!” I hope that idiot heard that. Probably got headphones on, listening to some shitty ass music, like always! Well, maybe I should try Perla, or whatever that idiots name is… “PERLA, WHERE THE FREAK ARE YOU?!?” Hmm… ten seconds… still no reply… oh for FUCKS SAKE. I need some water, it better not be contaminated with slime again – and great! It is. Oh… I have a nosebleed? Snot mixed with blood, how delicious, indeed. Wait, does snot come out along with blood during a nosebleed… um… does it? Who cares, honestly, HAHA. I’ll just drink it anyways. Wait… isn’t that… pregabalin? No, like, the actual pill. What the hell. Why is it in a rainbow package? It’s glowing. It looks so… appetising. Yummy, even. Wait, NOPE! What on earth are you thinking, you darn idiot?!? HOLY SHIT, Favelas room fucking stinks so bad, that IDIOT NEEDS TO CLOSE THEIR FUCKING DOOR! “FAVELA, CLOSE YOUR DOIR, YOU STINKY BASTARD, EW! EUGH!” Eugh, god, help me. The stench is unbearable. I’ll close the lazy bastards door then, since they won’t – wait, FAZELA?!? Fazela is… passed out. Or dead. Like I care. Ugh, fine, I do care. I’ll just check their heart rate – OH SHIT, that’s fast. That’s probably like… 500 beats per minute? That’s not even humanly possible, right?!? Jeez, I know they like their weed, but what the fuck? They’re still breathing. Ugh, it smells so bad. What’s that on their computer screen, “girls farting”, WHAT A FUCKING FREAK. Eugh. You know what, fuck this idiot. I’m slamming this door. Ugh, thank god I’m outta that room. Where on earth is Perla? Whatever. They’re boring, honestly. But that rainbow package of pregabalin – it looks like cake. Maybe it is. Oh fuck, I’m salivating at the mouth… I neeeeeeeed it! I need to eat it… not the pills… but the package! NUM, NUM, NUM! Oh… ahhhh………….Aughhhhhhhhhhhoooooo oaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhau uuuuuuuuaaaaauuuuuuuuoooooooooaaooooooooooghhhh……… a long moment of silence. That was… the tastiest thing I’ve ever consumed. Oh my days. OH. MY. DAYS. PREGABALIN! I MISSED YOU! I CAN SENSE YOUR PRESENCE! Everything is sooooo colourfuuuuuuuul, WOW!!! Everything but… you. You’re still pitch black. Please come closer, Pregabalin. I want to feel your warmth. I don’t even know if you’re real – awwww! You’re so close… The figure raises one hand. It has six fingers. Then seven. Then none. Then it has my hand. I look down and my hand is still attached to me, which is honestly becoming less reassuring by the second. “You came back,” it says. Except its mouth doesn’t move. Except it still doesn’t have a mouth. Except I suddenly remember that I have never heard it speak before. Except I have been hearing it speak for weeks. Except there were no weeks. The calendar on the wall has been counting backwards in letters. MONDAY. SUNDAY. FRIDAY. BLORP. BLORP. BLORP. I blink and the calendar is gone. In its place is a tiny door. I blink again. The door is enormous. I blink again and I am inside it. There is a hallway. The hallway is breathing. “Please stop,” I say. “Stop what?” asks Pregabalin. “Everything.” “Everything is not available at this time.” “Why?” “Because you already ate the package.” “I DID WHAT?” The hallway giggles. Every door opens simultaneously. Behind every door is the same bedroom. Same bed. Same darkness. Same figure. Same me. One version of me is asleep. One is screaming. One is drinking coffee. One is staring directly at me and saying, “Do not trust the one who looks like you.” “Which one?” I ask. All of them point at me. Oh fuck… what the fuck? Am I hallucinating? What on gods earth is going on?!? FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! I scream. The figure raises one hand. It has six fingers. Then seven. Then none. Then it has my hand. I look down and my hand is still attached to me, which is honestly becoming less reassuring by the second. “You came back,” it says. Except its mouth doesn’t move. Except it still doesn’t have a mouth. Except I suddenly remember that I have never heard it speak before. Except I have been hearing it speak for weeks. Except there were no weeks. The calendar on the wall has been counting backwards in letters. MONDAY. SUNDAY. FRIDAY. BLORP. BLORP. BLORP. I blink and the calendar is gone. In its place is a tiny door. I blink again. The door is enormous. I blink again and I am inside it. There is a hallway. The hallway is breathing. “Please stop,” I say. “Stop what?” asks Pregabalin. “Everything.” “Everything is not available at this time.” “Why?” “Because you already ate the package.” “I DID WHAT?” The hallway giggles. Every door opens simultaneously. Behind every door is the same bedroom. Same bed. Same darkness. Same figure. Same me. One version of me is asleep. One is screaming. One is drinking coffee. One is staring directly at me and saying, “Do not trust the one who looks like you.” “Which one?” I ask. All of them point at me. Wait… why did all of that just happen again? “ Sinking into bed, into floor, into bedfloor. But the figure is on top of me. I can’t even feel it on top of me. It’s just staring at me, like always. I don’t think it wants to harm me. Which is somehow worse???? I’ll call it “Pregabalin”, what an adorable name for it. Pregabalin. Pre-ga-ba-lin. It sounds like a little creature sneezing. Ah, I’m falling asleep yet again. Oh well. It’s morning now, sigh. I want to see Pregabalin! I miss it. Wait… isn’t that a drug name? I’ll search it up. “Pregabalin is a prescription medication primarily used to treat nerve pain caused by conditions like diabetes, shingles, or spinal cord injuries, as well as fibromyalgia. It is also prescribed to control partial-onset seizures in people with epilepsy and to manage generalized anxiety disorder by calming overactive chemical signals in the brain. While taking this medication, you may experience common side effects such as drowsiness, dizziness, headaches, dry mouth, blurred vision, or swelling in your hands and feet. Because it can significantly affect your concentration and reaction times, you should avoid driving or operating machinery until you know how it impacts you. Most importantly, you must never stop taking pregabalin suddenly, as doing so can trigger serious withdrawal symptoms or a recurrence of seizures; any changes to your dose should be managed gradually under a doctor’s direct supervision.” Ahhh… why on earth did that come up as a name in my mind? Hm… what if it’s trying to tell me something? I only go the pharmacist for melatonin, but what if… NOPE! Just kidding. Ugh, I need a coffee. I shout, “Favela, get me a coffee!” And Favela replies, “GET ONE YOURSELF YOU FUCKING FATASS,” ugh, I fucking miss Messiah, UGHHHHHH! Favela is the biggest cunt ever. I wish I could just eat them. That’s all they seem to be good for, honestly. But they’re such a paranoid asshole that they’d probably notice me trying anything from a freaking mile away. SMH. Whatever! As if Favela is much of anything… fucking spills shit everywhere and whines about everything. I mean, EVERY LITTLE THING! I wish my dear Pregabalin would just make Favela disappear forever and serve them to me on a plate. Actually, no. I’d rather do it myself. Ugh, nevermind. Fuck that coffee. Dumbass probably spit in it out of spite anyways. I don’t want to drink even a tiny amount of that disease infested spit. And their spit is bright red… so weird. Favela is sooooo fucking annoying and gross. I bet they’re jacking off to… ugh, nevermind, forget it. “FAVELA, FUCK YOU, YOU DUMB CUNT!” I hope that idiot heard that. Probably got headphones on, listening to some shitty ass music, like always! Well, maybe I should try Perla, or whatever that idiots name is… “PERLA, WHERE THE FREAK ARE YOU?!?” Hmm… ten seconds… still no reply… ten seconds is actually a very long time if you are waiting for Perla apparently. oh for FUCKS SAKE. I need some water, it better not be contaminated with slime again – and great! It is. Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be slime. Oh… I have a nosebleed? Snot mixed with blood, how delicious, indeed. Wait, does snot come out along with blood during a nosebleed… um… does it? Who cares, honestly, HAHA. Everything is sticky now. Why is the water blinking. Water should not blink. Stop blinking. STOP IT. Wait… isn’t that… pregabalin? No, like, the actual pill. What the hell. Why is it in a rainbow package? It’s glowing. It looks so… appetising. Yummy, even. Like something from a birthday party hosted by a pharmacy. Wait, NOPE! What on earth are you thinking, you darn idiot?!? HOLY SHIT, Favela’s room fucking stinks so bad, that IDIOT NEEDS TO CLOSE THEIR FUCKING DOOR! “FAVELA, CLOSE YOUR DOIR, YOU STINKY BASTARD, EW! EUGH!” Why did I spell door like DOIR. Why does DOIR look more correct now. DOIR DOIR DOIR. Eugh, god, help me. The stench is unbearable. I’ll close the lazy bastards door then, since they won’t – wait, FAZELA?!? Fazela is… passed out. Or dead. Like I care. Ugh, fine, I do care. I’ll just check their heart rate – OH SHIT, that’s fast. That’s probably like… 500 beats per minute? That’s not even humanly possible, right?!? Maybe the heart has upgraded. Congratulations heart. Jeez, I know they like their weed, but what the fuck? They’re still breathing. Ugh, it smells so bad. What’s that on their computer screen, “girls farting”, WHAT A FUCKING FREAK. Eugh. You know what, fuck this idiot. I’m slamming this door. Ugh, thank god I’m outta that room. Where on earth is Perla? Whatever. They’re boring, honestly. But that rainbow package of pregabalin – it looks like cake. Maybe it is. No. Probably not cake. Unless cake has become pharmaceutical. Which honestly would explain a lot. Oh fuck, I’m salivating at the mouth… I neeeeeeeed it! I need to eat it… not the pills… but the package! NUM, NUM, NUM! Oh… ahhhh………….Aughhhhhhhhhhhoo oooooaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhauuuuuuuuuaaaaauuuuuuuuoo oooooooaaooooooooooghhhh……… a long moment of silence. A very long moment. A moment that has been sitting here for several business days. That was… the tastiest thing I’ve ever consumed. Oh my days. OH. MY. DAYS. PREGABALIN! I MISSED YOU! I CAN SENSE YOUR PRESENCE! Everything is sooooo colourfuuuuuuuul, WOW!!! Everything is colours now. The walls are purple. The floor is Thursday. The ceiling is speaking French. Everything but… you. You’re still pitch black. Please come closer, Pregabalin. I want to feel your warmth. I don’t even know if you’re real – awwww! You’re so close… so so close,,,,,, closer than close. Too close. Why are you smiling? You don’t have a mouth. Why can I hear your teeth? Why can I see your teeth when you have no teeth????? That is NOT how teeth work. “Hello,” I whisper. Pregabalin says nothing. The room says hello instead. “HELLO,” says the room. “HELLO,” says the floor. “hello,” says my elbow. My elbow has never spoken before. I think it is lying. “Pregabalin?” I say again. It tilts its head. Or maybe the entire room tilts its head. bed inside a bed inside a bed inside a bed inside a bed inside a bed inside a bed inside a bed inside a bed” AHHHHHHH NOOOOOO!!! Why does my brain keep replaying everything… but in weirder ways?!? “You’re not Pregabalin,” I say to the chair. “I am Tuesday,” says the chair. “Oh.” “NO,” says Pregabalin. “NO WHAT?” “NO.” “That doesn’t answer my question.” “QUESTION,” screams the carpet. Suddenly the carpet starts spelling something with its little carpet fibres. P R E G A B A L I N. Then it changes. P R E G A B A L I N E. Then P R E G A B A L I N E S. Then just ???????,,,,,,,,,??????. I blink. “This isn’t your supermarket,” Favela says. “Whose is it?” “The government.” “Which government?” Favela points at the ceiling. The ceiling is now wearing a tie. “Oh.” The clocks in the trolley all start screaming at once. Not ticking. SCREAMING. 3:47! 3:47! 3:47! 3:47! “Pregabalin!” I shout. Nothing happens. “PREGABALIN!” Still nothing. “PREGABALIIIIINNNNNN!” The entire supermarket goes silent. A little bell rings. Somewhere, impossibly far away, someone says “your receipt.” I turn around and Pregabalin is there again, but now it has a little paper crown on its head. “You have been selected,” it says. “Selected for WHAT?” “THE THING.” “What thing?” “THE THING.” “Can you be more specific?” “No.” “Why?” “Because you are currently speaking to a lampshade.” I look down. I am, in fact, holding a lampshade. “I thought you were Pregabalin.” “I AM NOT.” The lampshade begins crying. Not normal crying. It cries tiny alphabet letters. a b c d ø ß Ж ழ λ Я Я Я. I drop it. It lands on the floor and immediately becomes a horse. BEEP. BEEP. The darkness returns. The supermarket disappears…..Favela disappears…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHISUSUDU. The clocks disappear. The orange is gone. The horse is gone. The ceiling is normal again, which somehow feels worse. Pregabalin is standing at the foot of my bed. “You forgot something,” it says. “What?” “You forgot to wake up.” I laugh because that is obviously stupid. “I’m already awake.” Pregabalin tilts its head. “Are you?” I stop laughing. The room begins breathing. The walls inhale. The floor exhales. The bed makes a noise like it is trying very hard not to become a person. “No,” I whisper. “No no no no no,,,,, absolutely not.” Pregabalin takes one step closer. Then another. Then another. Except its feet aren’t moving. I am moving. The room is moving around it. I am getting closer to Pregabalin while standing perfectly still. “Wait,” I say. “WAIT.” It smiles. I think it smiles. There is still no face. Suddenly my phone rings. I look at the screen. The caller ID says ME. I answer. “Hello?” My own voice says, very quietly, “don’t let it learn your name.” I stare at Pregabalin. “What’s my name?” I ask. Pregabalin does not answer. The phone starts laughing. The walls start laughing. The bed starts laughing. The ceiling starts laughing. Even the fucking floor is laughing now. And then, from somewhere underneath everything, something whispers my name incorrectly. Not my name. Almost my name. A little bit my name. A name that has been chewed up and put back together wrong. Pregabalin leans closer. “There you are,” it whispers. And suddenly I realise I have been asleep this entire time. Except I’m not in my bed anymore. I’m inside the sentence. And the sentence is looking back at me,,,,,,,,, !!!!!! Meow … pls help me … Meow … pls help me … Meow … pls help me … oh deary me AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAFUCKCJUFFIKCUFKFKCUCUFKFKCUCIFKK ITS TICKLING ME

– Signed by, Messiah… 🖋️