Meow Is Telling The Truth

Author: Theorist

You all need to listen to MEOW RIGHT this instant. Listen up youngsters (including OMH and admin). Yall need to listen to the TRUTH you unsqueezed lemons.

Isn’t it odd how much memories a song can hold. I cannot listen to a certain artist, as it brings back too much memories of a certain Christian I used to date. I keep getting flashbacks of that person.. fuck, fuck, fuck!!! I feel that sickening feeling in my stomach whenever I listen to one of their songs! The sick feeling has been getting worse. My daily routine… I’m starting to wonder how real everything is. I’ve been getting the urge to finally cut off one of my fingers after all these years of wanting to do so. Well, I actually mentioned this here before, I once tried cutting my left pinky finger off, but chickened out. I still sometimes pick at the healed scar to make it bleed a little. I didn’t even get halfway through, hahahaha. But it was still a fun try. I think I’ll cut that exact finger off. The scar is actually cool, but why would I want more scars? I have all the tools I want and I have it planned. I’ll get super duper drunk! I’m not sure what I’ll do with my finger. Maybe finger myself–no, I’m kidding. But I have watched a porn video where they did just that. I’m sure there’s some people into that, but it’s not for me… maybe I’ll eat my finger. But I don’t know how I’d cook it. Nah. I’ll probably just keep it as a cute little souvenir hidden somewhere in my room. I WILL be drinking the blood, though. I also once had a really strong urge to drill a hole into my hand and was super close to doing so. That was 11 years ago by the way. Messiah heard about my plans and told me it’s dangerous but they’re happy to go along with it. I have actually once tried astral projection and I saw something. I descended further into my floor and saw a black figure standing over me. It had an evil presence. It’s like a blue ominous creature OUT to get me but where’s my fear. Nononono. Fear isn’t possible when you take THIS. The truth is I fucking ate the truth and will eat all of you just like I’ve already eaten my finger and next will be my heart I hope. Messiah is evil I don’t even CARE! Just take me to that goddamn cat cafe. It’s not that hard it’s only 9 miles away. NONONONOOOOO!!! Don’t say that we can’t go because I know full well you have the money and funds you fucking four eyed freak nerd! Nerd alert! NEEEEEEEERD! Oh shut. Well if you got this far reading this let me tell you something. I don’t care if you think I’m lying, insane, or cringe. Because I have discovered the fucking truth. I felt it when my heart descended along with me into the ground of evil. Please give me those 500 back… NAH just kidding those 500 literally were just enabling me and making me get worse with my poor wee little heart. YOU FUCKING CUNTS DONT UNDERSTAND THE TRUUUUUUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take that goddamn pill and shove it up your ass UNLIKE me I fucking ate something and took something, no not drugs, do not worry, I took something much more soul revealing. OH ITS COMING OMG THE BLOOD IS POURINGGGG…. Just kidding I ain’t no PUSSY!!! Frankly, she’s got a point!!!!!!!!!! There are only so many existential crises a tiny red-haired menace should be expected to supervise before someone hands her a biscuit and sends her home!!!!!!!!!! Okay but jokes aside… here’s some facts about Messiah.
Messiah has dark brown hair with some red undertones. Messiah has pale skin. Messiah has dark brown eyes. Messiah often wears black clothing and wears a lot of scarves. Messiah ALWAYS wears a hat, usually made by the Armani brand. Messiahs voice is oddly soothing and monotone. Messiah claims they’ve been a celebrity in their past life. I THINK THE WALL JUST BLINKED. Don’t fucking lie to me. I SAW IT. It did that little blink thing like when someone is trying not to laugh during a funeral. WHY IS THE WALL LAUGHING AT ME????? I asked it politely to stop and it didn’t answer because obviously walls are cowards. Typical. Four walls and not a single ounce of courage between them. There is a spoon on my desk. I DON’T OWN THAT SPOON. WHO PUT IT THERE. أنا لا أثق بهذا الملعقة. Wait. That says “I don’t trust this spoon.” I THINK. My Arabic is fucking terrible. The spoon knows this. The spoon is mocking me. Actually maybe it’s French. MERDE. NO. WRONG LANGUAGE. WRONG EMOTION. I have been awake for approximately seven thousand years and also possibly twelve minutes. Time is fake anyway. Clocks are just tiny circles designed by capitalism to make everyone panic. Tick tick tick. SHUT UP. I looked at my phone and it said 3:17. Then I looked again. 3:17. Again. 3:17. AGAIN. 3:17. This is obviously evidence of a conspiracy. Unless I have simply forgotten that I looked at it four times. Which is worse. I think the ceiling fan knows my name. Not my legal name. My OTHER name. The one I never told anyone. The one that isn’t even a name. ████████. See? Even writing it down makes the page feel weird. STOP IT. I AM WRITING HERE. You don’t get to feel weird. There is a cat outside. It is staring directly at me. We have an understanding now. I will not tell anyone about what happened on Tuesday and it will not tell anyone about what happened on Wednesday. A fair trade. The cat has just walked away. BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!!!! I trusted you, Gerald. I NEVER EVEN NAMED YOU GERALD. WHY DID I DO THAT. I need to go to the cat café. This is no longer a suggestion. This is diplomacy. Nine miles. NINE. GET ME TO THAT FUCKING CAT CAFE NOW YOU SCUMBAGS OH MY GOSH YOU STUPID IDIOTS..!.. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. ridiculous. РИДИКУЛЬНО. Wait, that’s Russian… I think. Maybe. Whatever. I can hear the refrigerator humming again. It’s singing in B-flat. I don’t know what B-flat sounds like. But that’s definitely what it’s doing. I have decided that tomorrow I will become extremely mysterious. I am brilliant. I am also going to bed. The wall is still blinking. Tell it I said goodnight. Tell nobody anything. Nobody is ready. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …I want to fuck Messiah with my leftover finger. Just kidding chill out, I’m not a freak. LISTEN TO ME, ████████!!!!!!!