Author: slavetothehell
Today I saw someone desperately pleading for someone to end their suffering.
It’s so strange to me that something so natural seems so bizarre.
I’m not a doctor or anything related to medicine; I’m just someone who sees everything from a “can be fixed or can’t be fixed” perspective.
But I’ve never seen anything from such a delicate point of view.
The person I saw is an adult of about 90 years old with Alzheimer’s. I witnessed the progression of their condition, from lucidity to madness.
Seeing how the person started with small lapses in memory:
putting sugar in their coffee,
where they left the coins for the newspaper,
where they hid the candy for their grandchildren
and seeing how a disease progresses so rapidly, going from 0 to 100 km/s
to urinating standing up,
not eating for days and saying they already had breakfast,
having a full diaper and saying they’re fine
It’s disorienting to think how their brain can’t process what’s happening, how the adult offers you their coffee while the smell is nauseating, how the person pulls a piece of moldy bread from under their pillow and offers you a bite. I’d be tempted to say this person is forgotten at home or in a nursing home, but no, this person is surrounded by family who provide all the care, where the adult doesn’t help, where the adult becomes violent when trying to change their diaper, where the adult throws their plate of food at you in a fit of hysteria.
Where every day you see how their body loses muscle mass, and at the same time, the strength to move; in short, watching their body wither away and seeing it each day is more painful. I’ve had the misfortune of seeing some family members die. In my case, a heart attack is something I’m guaranteed at some point in my life; I simply wait for the moment to arrive. It could be when I’m young or old. A long time ago, I made peace with that idea, that it would come someday, and I wouldn’t fight it so as not to make life difficult for the people around me.
But I’ve never seen how being an elderly person causes fights in the family, separation, and generates violence, while in the background you hear the laughter of someone who is no longer in this world
Silent lucidity?
POPSTAR BY TINASHE BLOCKED TAYLOR FROM #1 ON ITUNES SPREAD THE WORD
TAYLOR FLOPPED AND TINASHE IS THE QUEEN
person below me is a gimp, the writing around here is fun
Looks like EUM has been taken over by the holy trinity of mentally ill drug induced lapers who think they’re the shit after taking a class in philosophy lol.. Audacity, Cassandra and Meow STFU HOES I HATE WOMEN OMFG least the troon zoomers were bullied off this site lol hopefully killed themselves
Beautiful writing from you as well, i felt the scene and imagine it .
But all I saw not the hurting part but the staring part to how someone arrives eventually to death. At first walking slowly then crumbling and hitting a wall.
Idk how you feel but. You’ll see them in heaven? Idk too.
Keep writing
I’ve buried so many friends. From addiction too. But also other things. Suicide, murder, cancer, a car accident, MRSA from shooting up. And yes, OD’s. They were good people. One time bright, beautiful, incredible, talented people I truly cared about. Artists and musicians. Uni friends and neighborhood kids I grew up with. Friends and lovers. And I watched them disappear before my very eyes even before they died, and I couldn’t save them from themselves. Till they became ghosts of who they once were. And so many of them didn’t survive it. It fucking sucks. It’s horrible.
I’ve seen things ruin people. Drugs and alcohol specifically.
My MUM has told me she wants to kill herself multiple times. Not in a joking way. She’d also say “I fucking hate myself” whenever she did something simple like spilling something. I eventually learned that I can help her emotions, kinda. She would always say “If you’re happy, I’m happy”, so when I was a depressed kid I hid it until. Actually I didn’t, I loved getting attention. So I decided to get it from the wrong people instead of my mum. That almost got me kidnapped at 12, lol.