Author: bitethecross
Ive never really experienced a great childhood, my dad raped me and honestly could never forgive that. I still live with him, under the same roof, acting like nothing happened. He is the reason I cant have normal romantic, intimate sex, I gotta have something erotic and gross in order to get off. He is the reason I watch gore to feel something, or to numb myself. He is the reason I flinch and the reason I cry. I hate my father and I hate his narcissistic tendencies to just be right, every single second he explains himself to justify that hes right. He is the reason I cant go out like normal teens my age, why is he so overprotective? I can never have a boyfriend who loves me, I would always want a toxic relationship otherwise I wont seem happy. This is hard to explain but getting slapped is what I believe is love, going on a cute date and getting flowers and kissing is something I would love to want, but I dont want that, but I want to want that. He is the reason I feel so much.
My siblings all flinch. My little brother cries at the thought of my dad coming home from work, and when hes not we all celebrate.
My dad converted to christianity and ever since hes felt like a saint, he could never be a saint. He will never get to heaven, he fears hell, thats why he converted. He knows his life is fucked, he knows he is destined for damnation yet he tries so hard to prove to “god” that he is worthy enough for an imaginary afterlife. Even after he claims that he changed, he got mad at my mom and started choking her. She couldn’t talk for weeks, her neck was scratched, so what changed? Did he change? No, he can never change, he will always turn to anger. When my brother was 8 he got kicked into a pile of tools, this meant saws, screwdrivers, knives etc. But he got his head cracked opened and I watched my mom lie about it to the doctor in order to save that bitch. My mom is a pathetic useless scum, all she does is cover up my dads mess. Her ass only submits to him like a fucking dog, what a useless woman. All my life its always been this way, no memory of mine was a joyful one.
My dad ruined my life, he makes it hell. Im confident I’ll make it out of this shithole and never see my mom nor dad ever again. I will be free one day
I hope you get out of that place soon :{ stay safe
You should move to different place, talk to someone get help, you don’t have to face this alone. There’s many helpline. Do what you feel is right for you, take actin
Kill him bro. If u got graped with however that person is just fucking kill them. And the memory will die. Else change states and homes and environments. Cause what the fuck u mean u still live with that bitch under the same roof.
Crazy how similar all this is to my childhood/parent damn yeah I feel you on all this I wish I grew up with a loving home it just ruined my life as an adult