I Faked Being A Sociopath

Author: Meow

I think some of you on here appear sociopathic or anti-social, I know it’s just your online personas but you can almost always tell a few things about a person based on how they write or what they write about. I’m not sociopathic, in fact, my empathy was so overwhelming in the past that it was physically painful. I had to toughen up after a while, and I’d say my empathy is just slightly above average now, but still overwhelming when it comes to animals. But, I do think scientists should test on truly bad people instead of rats or monkeys, which is an anti-social opinion in some people’s eyes. I really feel no empathy whatsoever for people who hurt the vulnerable (specifically animals), I genuinely hope these people suffer only the worst fates. I’d never say this out loud, but sometimes I fantasise about slowly torturing these types of people. Or rather, someone else torturing these people. Anyways, years and years ago, I was heavily pressured into getting therapy. It was complicated, because I wanted help, but I was also really lazy. Really fucking lazy. I didn’t like my therapist, but I did try opening up. What truly set me off was when I actually told my therapist something serious I did at a young age to myself, and my therapist said I was just in a “low mood”. Their advice was already not helping whatsoever, but that was it. From then on, I decided to try something different. I was studying psychology (not at school, at home) and ASPD was particularly standing out as interesting to me. Maybe it’s because I, someone with high levels of empathy, could barely understand the concept of someone having absolutely no empathy. Or maybe, it’s that I’ve known quite a few people who show symptoms of it, one person in particular showing all signs of ASPD and NPD (I still know said person, and they are indeed weird). Either way, I decided to study ASPD specifically. I’m not gonna go on about all the causes and signs of ASPD that I learned about. I tried forcing myself to feel no empathy, out of curiosity. And honestly I was a little fed up, everyone else seemed like total cunts with no empathy. This is where it starts getting kinda edgy. I started forcing myself to watch gore online to desensitise myself. After a few weeks, I’d actually noticed a difference. I felt less empathy and was showing more and more anti-social signs. I started telling my therapist I felt no empathy and that I’d done some shitty stuff that I didn’t even do. I was basically lying about being a sociopath when it reality I was the opposite (I used to really fear breaking any rules when I was younger). Not much came out of it. I quit therapy a few months later, and funnily enough, I got way better instantly. I just think it was a pretty odd phase of mine. I don’t recommend faking being a sociopath. 0/10. I really hated that therapist and I always cringe looking back on this memory of mine.