BPD Is Hell

Author: Nono

Bpd is hell. First it starts off with wanting to be kidnapped/hurt as a child just so you either get attention or the adults finally remember you exist. Also a lot of people with bpd have weird kinks. And I’m not 100% sure about this but I’m pretty sure most bpd is caused by trauma instead of unfortunate genetics. Your entire mood is dictated by what you interpret your favourite person is feeling. Even a tiny sigh from them can come across as them being upset and then you’re hit with the overwhelming feeling of feeling like they’re upset because of you or angry at you. Then …you talk to them and realise they weren’t even mad. Then your entire mood changes within a second. Not even that but a millisecond. From feeling depressed or anxious and scared to happy and calm all because your closest person is happy. The constant fear that anyone new will just hurt you. So you might as well ghost them before they hurt you. But then you gravitate to the toxic people because the pain is all you know. It’s nice to imagine someone cutting a wound into you and then stitching it up. Bpd sucks. You fall in love with any person who gives you attention. Even if that attention from them is negative. Even if you’re smart enough to notice they’re trying to manipulate you… Every emotion is always a fucking extreme. Normal sadness is extreme depression. Normal anger is wanting to murder someone. Normal anxiety is having a full blown panic attack. Happiness is somewhat like mania. That’s what’s it’s like. There’s never any silence. It’s always something within your brain. ALWAYS. But hey… you get used to it. I personally have honestly.