Benzo-Brain-Injury Vol.2

Author: Gay Retard

chapter 2.

diphenhydramine 700mg
or:
a blood soaked ratsnake is making noise in my window

it was an average Friday during my heavy drinking/drugging phase in 2023. I was attending university studying psychology, while also being a depressed piece of shit who fancied myself as a psychonaut intellectual when really I was just an emo faggot with a gnarly drug habit.

this Friday I had planned on a real adventure, a break from downing a handle of vodka and passing out on public transit.

I had just picked up my prescription, ninety count 0.5mg clonazepam for the month. an extremely normal dosage for someone as bipolar as your retarded, homosexual narrator. On my way out of the pharmacy, I decided to steal a box of Benadryl and a bottle of DXM syrup. I then proceded to consume 400mg (about ten of those pink fuckers) on the bus ride home to my dorm. I stayed in my own dorm room and had adequate privacy to fuck myself up. another 300mg once I was in my own space.

wanting to protect myself from the physical discomfort of a DPH trip, I countered it by downing the entire bottle of dxm combined with 8mg of klonopin. To this day I think that’s what saved me from having a seizure once the Benadryl kicked in.

I layed in bed and could start to feel the body load kicking in. I plugged in my decorative Christmas lights that were hanging on the ceiling above my bed (for context, this was the only light source in the room. the doorway leading to my kitchen and bathroom was completely dark) I tried to relax. I’ve had a few experiences with moderate dosages of DPH when I was a teenager when weed wasn’t readily available. Having experienced some hallucinations, but I didn’t understand what most DPH trip reports described as “translucent insects’ . and then I noticed that my Christmas lights were casting a strange shadow.

the silhouette of gigantic, hairy centipede legs were a distinct image, remaining across my entire wall. distinct and prominent.

“oh fuck” I thought. This was different from any hallucination that LSD or Psilocybin could arouse. this looked REAL. As my mind was being raped by a neurotoxic pharmaceutical deliriant, somehow the distinction between reality and imagination had vanished.

Calm though from taking 6 days worth of clonazepam in one go, I was still able to convince myself that what I was seeing was not real. I sat up to get a closer look, but no matter what angle I viewed the shadow from, or how many times I looked away, the insect legs remained. I played back down in bed, deciding to ignore this horror that I had brought on myself.

that’s when I heard a sound in my window. The Venetian blinds that came pre-installed in my dorm had began to rattle and shake. beyond them, I could see what I can only describe as an 8 feet long rat-snake like creature that was soaked in thick, black blood.

it blended in with the night sky beyond, and I was transfixed by it’s shape and movement. my Christmas lights being the only light source in the room, I lost all sense of time at this point and succumbed to the delirium.

My body was heavy as a boulder and I felt paralyzed. Wrapping myself in a blanket seemed like some sort of protection at least. Closing my eyes was little comfort, I would find myself halfway into an intimate conversation only to roll over in bed and realize that no-one else was there. After debating on a shower, I tilted my head to look across the room.

That’s when I saw something that legitimately freaked me the fuck out.

In the doorway saw a human-like figure crouching on the floor. Eyes and teeth were shining in the darkness. I was frozen with terror. I was afraid that if I moved an inch, this Ghoul would lunge from the shadows and consume me.

I awoke the next morning and realized that I had probably given myself permanent brain damage.

THE END.