A Sexcapades Short-Episode 1

Author: Audacity

DISCLAIMER: This is a true account from a sex addict in recovery and is X Rated. No one under 18 should be reading this. If you are, get the fuck out of here right now and go home to your mother! Or suitable parent like guardian person 😂 Ok, now back to the festivities of our regularly scheduled program, already in progress-

– Masturbating W/ Hand Sanitizer –

For all my ladies out there, I want you to know I really do this. And it’s really fantastic feeling actually. For the men out there, yeah ok, guess you can know it too.

Even if, in my best Exorcist Regan voice I cry out, “it burns, it burns!”, hand sanitizer on the pussy still feels incredible to me. Like the best of pleasure and pain; the pleasure being inside the pain. Kind of like how it feels when you get a tattoo…which I also love how getting a tattoo feels. Now you know I have at least one tattoo lol.

Because yes, hand sanitizer on the pussy does burn initially, that’s true; but it doesn’t ONLY burn. Because once that initial burn dies down, it makes your pussy feel very pleasantly warm which lingers for at least 30 minutes or so. And it’s really pleasantly intense in how it both hurts then feels like sitting down into a hot bath down there.

And because of the initial pain, all of your blood pumps there immediately, turning every arousal sensor light the fuck on and UP, ultra quickly. And that sudden rush is also incredible feeling. You can actually feel the blood pounding there from the pain of it.

It’s pain and pleasure mixed in the best ways. Plus it’s super hygienic . I use the one with aloe cause then it also soothes and it’s somehow slicker too, and lasts longer before adding another boosting pump.

But the combination of initial stinging burn + intense warmth + rush of pumping blood + slick lubrication + porn (😆) always makes me cum super hard. I love it. And will probably continue doing it for many years to cum.

My fiancé finds it a bit too intense and has only let me try it once on her. But she does say that it turns her on to watch me do it and think about me doing it. And that she likes me to go down on her after I rub it on me, then cock up and bang her with our strap-on on, cause it’s like an extension of that pain and pleasure, pouring into her.

Ahh my beautiful love is such an undercover kinky bitch I love her so much. 😂 We’re both very kinky in bed together and she’s the best lover I’ve ever had, male or female.

But she doesn’t actually have the sickness like we do. She’s never been into gore, or death or even horror films. She’ll only go so far. And pain, either giving or receiving, doesn’t get her off much. Although she does like it when I tie her up and spank her, and punish her for being a “bad baby” as we say. Which I LOVE doing. Before we end up intwined and cumming in each other’s mouths at the same time, while I also have a middle finger up her tight asshole.

And I’d just like to take this moment of deep appreciation to write how much I love her sparsely red haired, delicate pink vagina that tastes like honeysuckle and peaches (she’s a vegetarian, and eats a lot of fruit and peaches). Almost as much as she loves mine, which she says tastes like rose water. I’m so lucky I found her because she’s the total package. Brains, beauty, loves animals (we have 13 rescue cats that we share life with in our huge and sprawling custom built log home chateau with a small woods and barn, plus community feral cats we help take care of outside) sophistication, taste, great sense of humor, she’s a badass, educated, high powered career (we met at work actually), and she comes from a financially successful and good family -her mother was more of a mother to me than my actual mother has ever been, and she always called me her other daughter. I miss her every day, RIP mom-; my beautiful fiancé was also a highly accomplished athlete AND she’s well read, loyal, kind and compassionate, and she has fucking manners. She’d also do anything to make me happy and is so generous, and she gives the best gifts ever. More importantly, I always feel proud to step out on her arm.

And, this is a big one, we’re both smokers so she doesn’t give me shite about my ciggies. Which I especially love. Cause shite is all a smoker ever hears about their smoking these days.

Other people tend to be confounded by us though. Because we’re a bit of a paradox really. Outwardly presenting, I’m more supposedly “feminine” looking. Long hair, make up, feminine style and I’ll wear a dress, lots of jewelry and sexy heels. I’m also the cook. And I’m a great cook. Outwardly presenting she’s more soft butch looking. Sparse makeup, never wears dresses or skirts, and the most she’ll cook is put some frozen something in the oven 😆

But on the inside, I’m much more “masculine” and she’s much more “girly” than I’ve ever been. She’s scared of snakes and spiders, horror films, and vomits at the sight of blood. I can’t get enough horror, I love snakes, and when I detest someone I’m actively trying not to split theur head open with an axe and finger paint with their blood 😆. And I’m much more aggressive than she could ever be. So yeah, it’s a confounding duality for some. And we know it is. In fact she readily tells others that despite appearances, in our relationship I’m actually the “man”. 😆 But really, what do the terms feminine and masculine even mean anyway? They’re just made up terminology constructs designed to categorize people to other people’s liking. They don’t really mean anything real on their own. But still, we have fun with it.

We’ve been through so much together. And we’re each other’s best friends. She’s truly the total package and everything I’ve ever wanted in another person. She’s like a decade older than me chronologically but we’re the same age mentally.

Even when we fight and say things we don’t mean, or I get fixated and my head is being brutal or when she’s struggling with her depression, we show up for one another, each other’s true match in every way. I’m strong where she’s weak, and vice versa. And I’m fiercely protective of her. I would slice someone’s throat open if they even threatened her.

We’ve been together for many years now. Can’t wait to marry my girl, damn I love her. And damn she’s beautiful.

She’s also one the great loves of my life. The greatest actually.

Ok, talking about us has turned on, let me try and calm down cause right now she’s sleeping hard…cause it’s really late as I write this; and while I do often wake her up by touching her- from her beautiful natural double d breasts with cotton candy pink nipples (she has thee most beautiful breasts I’ve ever seen, anywhere, on anyone, including my own) to her ass and stomach and auburn red hair and back, to ultimately waking her fully up by touching her pussy then going down on her (which she loves to be woken up like this btw), it’s only like 3 am right now; so she needs a bit more rest to be able to put up with my ass on any given day lmao.

So even if I’m turned in right now, I will let her be and let her get her rest now.

“I know what I can do instead” Audacity thinks to herself, as she pulls up some porn…and slowly reaches for the bottle of aloe infused hand sanitizer…

– The End –

Epilogue-

Would love some of my more adventurous EUM ladies to try this out and comment below what their experience with it was.

Or, try it out in your more adventurous partner. With their permission of course.

It’s a lot of fun, and for a specific kind of person can feel really good.

Also, share below what your own personal “craziest thing ever” (that you’ve masturbated with or gotten off with/to) is. I’d love to know.

And with that I wish you all a very well sanitized farewell for now.