Movies I Watched (Updated)

“Lake Mungo” (2008)
If no one told you this wasn’t a real documentary you might think it is. It’s too bad that they didn’t perpetuate the gag like the Hollywood bullshit artists did with the phony Charles Manson story which made billions and billions of dollars. The makers of “Lake Mungo” should have insisted that the story was 100% true and this film could have really become something. Once I knew the story was bullshit it took the scary right out of it. Everyone goes on and on about how great the “perfectly timed jump scare” is but by the time it happened I was so bored I didn’t even flinch. This film gets a lot of praise but it didn’t do much for me. 2 stars.

“A Dark Song” (2016)
A miserable rich woman (is there any other kind?) rents a mansion in an isolated area in Wales and hires a super unlikeable bald, red-bearded expert in witchcraft to conjure up her dead son so they can have a chat. As always when dealing with witchcraft, if you make any mistakes in the rituals or have un-pure motives, the spells you wish to inflict on others with backfire and come back to you 10 times over. At one point Sophia starts to think Joseph may be a charlatan after he convinces her to take off her clothes so he can jerk off to her ass as part of the ritual. Joseph takes one look at her ass, barely gets his prick out of his pants and busts a nut faster than you can say Quickdraw McGraw. Sophia adds some piss to Joseph’s breakfast in the morning to get even. Eventually things get more complicated with a near death experience and a severe injury.

I’m not usually a big fan of spooky horror films with corny jump scares but I have to say that this one is a bit more unusual than your standard “scary” stuff. It’s more strange than scary which I feel is a plus. 3 and a half stars.

Author: Old Mother Hubbard

I just watched “November” (2017)
“November” is a Estonia/Netherlands/Poland black and white film. The production is superb with often breathtaking cinematography. Make up artist Anu Konze does an absolutely incredible job. Within the first 2 minutes of the film you realize that this is going to be something very strange and different. It’s the weirdest love story you’ll ever see, featuring witches, warlocks, a talking snowman, a variety of farm animals and weird mechanical creatures that talk, piss and spit blood. Rea Lest-Liik as Liina is utterly sublime. Many memorable moments include Liina talking to her dead mother, the two lovers in the gondola, the warlock whenever he’s on the screen and the pig stamping his foot on the bible while he gives an ungodly shriek. Super bizarre film. I loved it. 5 stars.

“The Interior” (2015)
“The Interior” starts off a little odd, almost like an “Office Space” (1999) type comedy, before it turns in to a horror movie. James gets fired from his job, gets some bad news about his health, dumps his girlfriend and decides to go camping in the woods by himself in the middle of nowhere (Only the Lord knows why anyone would want to do that). Anywho, he starts to hallucinate because of the isolation and ends up lost after his compass broke. James starts running out of supplies and running around in circles because he can’t find his way out of the woods. There are some genuinely frightening moments and some super boring sequences as well. It’s pretty good. 3 and a half stars.

“Enys Men” (2022)
“Enys Men” is no doubt one of the strangest films I have ever seen. Apparently a woman in her mid fifties volunteers to go to an isolated island in the middle of the ocean to study some strange, delicate looking flowers that are perched high above a rocky cliff. It’s rather dull and slow, along the lines of Gus Van Zant’s film “Gerry” (2002). At some point there is a change in the flowers and also a change in the protagonist. She begins to either hallucinate or time trip through a series of bizarre incidents that may or may not be/have been real. Mary Woodvine stars and gives a creepy performance throughout. By the end of the film I had no idea whatsoever of what it meant but I was certainly creeped out and feel the need to watch it again. It’s definitely top 5 in the weirdest/bizarre/surreal films I have ever seen. 4 and a half stars.