Meow – Cole’s Review

Author: Cole

“Hope yer next shit feels like a rusty pitchfork jammed up yer corn-chute fer the rest of yer miserable days.”

These were the last words of Daddy Meow to Mama Meow right before he hauled ass outta there faster than a greased pig at the county fair. Funny thing is he already knew Mama’s next shit was gonna be a whiny, attention-starved, JERKOFF little freak she named Meow after skinnin some half-dead alley cat fer breakfast scraps.

Meow’s been squirmin like a worm ever since I dropped a couple big ol posts on the Old Mfer. This ain’t gonna be as long, but I sure as hell hope he stops followin me around. So here ya go, ya delicate little pansy.

First time I laid eyes on Meow’s posts I figured he was just some lonely, ball-freezin faggot shiverin his skinny ass off in that godawful England rain. But there’s somethin all kindsa girly about the way he types, so I slapped that tranny tag on his scrawny chicken neck.

Now lemme set this straight as a Kansas dirt road. Do I think he’s pathetic? Hell yes. Do I think he’s as pathetic as the Old Mfer? Naw and here’s why: Meow’s a hair more creative sometimes, even if it’s by pure accident. Old Mfer’s just a talking potato, copyin other folks words and aliases.

But on to just how goddamn pathetic Meow really is:
Unemployed as a one-legged man at an ass-kickin contest.

Probably suckin on the dole, spendin every last pound on estrogen pills, vidya and maybe a stale cracker if he’s feelin’ fancy.

Gets them gut-twistin cramps from starvin his sorry hide and thinks it’s his period.

Smart enough he could’ve held a real job if he weren’t such a lazy, ego-drunk little bitch, but his childhood scars and that swollen head keep him hidin under the porch.

Raised by a single mama who probably whupped his ass daily with a wooden spoon. I almost feel a lick pity.

Kid got told to shut his trap so much growin up that now he can’t stop yappin online.

Probably never even finished high school. Smart enough to parrot shit he read on the internet, but too uneducated to go deeper than a puddle. Soon as somebody who actually knows their ass from a hole in the ground questions his cat-rantin, anime nonsense, or cheap perfume bullshit, he clams up or starts squirmin off-topic. Same with them fake self-harm stories – pure grade-A horseshit. You can see the panic in his eyes when a real cutter starts askin questions. Nothin but a lyin, bullshittin, basement-dwellin fraud.

Other than that… well, he’s kinda fine I guess 🤣