Meow, This Is Concerning

Author: Omniscient Squire

Meow, this is extremely concerning behavior.

Usually, by the time someone reaches the age of 4, they discard the concept of imaginary friends and go make real friends.

I fear your maturity level was stunted at a very young age after your father abandoned you and your mother turned to prostitution to support you.

Please get professional help. We are all encouraging you to get back into therapy with a licensed professional behavioral specialist ASAP.

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Meow
Meow
April 10, 2026 3:35 pm

Huh? I don’t have any imaginary friends.

But… earlier today, looking in the mirror, I just really wished I could fuck myself… like wow, I’m so fucking hot… fuck.

It’s a shame. But I did kiss myself.

You can think I’m making this up or not. Whatever. It’s true.

Guess my age, since you’re apparently such a wise idiot.

BTW I don’t need therapy