Author: hikikomoricide
Self isolation is great, it all started freshmen year when I was taken out of my school for trying to end my own life, it started off with mental institutions back and forth until finally I snapped. I tried ending my life behind the school since it gave me enough time to CTB without someone noticing I was gone fast enough.
Well, it didn’t work out. I was found and I even walked crooked for a while after the attempt. I had to take physical therapy and such. Because it was on school grounds they ended up expelling me and that’s when I started to become a hikikomori.
My parents kept me at home I wasn’t allowed to leave unless it was special circumstances (like if the house were on fire, etc) After about a week I joined an online school, which was only supposed to last the rest of my freshmen year.
Sophomore year rolled around and I hated the idea of going back to an in person school, So I stayed online again.
My junior year my parents forced me to go back because they likely realized how fucked my social skills were getting and how I barely left my room. I cried every day in class, I felt nauseous everyday and had the feeling everyone was staring at me. Whether they were or weren’t all I thought about was going home.
Its my senior year now, once I graduate I plan to be a hikikomori again and possibly get a disability check however I’m not sure I’ll be accepted since I don’t exactly have a “disability’ I only have MDD and I struggle with self harm but who knows. I really don’t want to work a normal job, Im just a lazy fuck no doubt about it.
The most I could see me doing is something online but what is there really to do online besides becoming famous. Idk, It wont matter I’ll be dead by 30 anyways.
@Admin just a random question. Since you made it so our IP’s are anonymous do you only see them in hashes? I’m studying security related things and wonder what the process is here
Why is everyone here suddenly a depressed fag with mummy issues bpd and childhood trauma
ADMIN SERIOUSLY WHERE IS MY LIST POST
Same , I think every year I’m struggling more and more with staying alive for some reasons, all I wanna do is throw myself in a highway, or drop from a building, drinking meds that were not prescribed to me but for my depressive mother. But I always pathetically failed lol. I think I don’t want to die, I want to kill the people I hate. But killing sounds impossible in real life. So I kinda try to make them regret it now.
Sounds like me a few years ago, my mum was also isolated and told me the outside is dangerous, when I was really young, she’d board up the windows with newspapers, and tell me not to look out. My mum didn’t really homeschool me, so I just taught myself BULLSHIT. But the weird thing is, within those years of isolation with my mum, I didn’t go crazy. In fact, I kinda miss being so isolated.
But I don’t agree with the last part. A lot of depressed people say it and even I said it when I was younger (even though the state of the world is still shitty as fuck).